On this Veterans Day 2016, just beyond the fervor of a divisive political campaign, it is obvious from social media posts that Americans are substituting their presidential fever with patriotic zeal. And even though we can express thanks to our favorite veterans for their service and protection, and post remembrances for our deceased vets, it is nearly impossible to get the living ones to recount their stories of courage and struggle while in harm’s way.
Trauma is not user-friendly. Nor is it the best subject for any bedtime stories. Still, those of us who were protected back home need to know some of the details of our veterans’ sacrifices. The sagas need to be recorded in some way so future generations of individual veterans can honor and remember them long after they leave us.
A high school classmate, David Ray, is the exception to this mostly silent club of combatants. He published “A Marine’s Promise to God: A Memoir of Vietnam,” in which he brings readers a generous helping of close calls in the jungles. Ray credits God and prayer with pulling him through ten near-death experiences in 1970, including times when he was the squad point man, a position which left him more vulnerable than most of the men in his unit.
What is most amazing about this book of Ray’s is that he wrote it at all, especially since our nation was less than grateful for his service and that of his compatriots in those days. In fact, we often demonized our service men and women and called them “baby killers.”
My favorite veteran, a widower that I’ve been spending lots of time with lately, would not be able to write about his experiences with a special ops unit in the Middle East due to security concerns. And the after-effects for him have continued, manifesting as an inability to enjoy fireworks displays and a constant questioning of why God would allow the evil that he saw in a war zone to continue with the deaths of so many innocent victims and loyal soldiers.
So his stories leak out in nightmares, or so his late wife reported when he would wake up shouting on a few occasions. He doesn’t remember the dreams and tries not to recall what caused them during his waking hours.
Yet this veteran forged bonds with the men who served with him and under his command . . . bonds that continue every time he sees or hears from them. As he goes to a reunion tonight at a local armory, there will be much storytelling and backslapping, laughter and funny memories recounted.
And it is the funnier, more human side of military service and overseas deployments that bears recording.
To that end, Personal Chapters has developed a series of questions designed to bring out the stories of our veterans. With the help of a nephew who is himself a veteran, these questions were crafted with care so as not to get at the stories with a bulldozer and perhaps open up wounds that may never be healed. They aim at grazing the surface of military experiences to give “just the facts, ma’am.”
The set of 30 questions is a specialty addendum to the core questions that form the basis for our Memoir Making Kit. They range from asking the vet to describe the equipment they used or operated, the food they ate, the buddies they befriended, care packages and communications received from family while serving, to the physical discomforts and even their opinions on the overall military strategy and suggestions for improving conditions, training and treatment of service members by the government.
If you would like to receive a copy of these 30 questions for your own favorite veteran, in hopes of learning more details about their service, send an email to personalchapters@gmail.com or comment on this blog on WordPress or Facebook with instructions on where to email the veterans questions. If you can gently persuade your vet to complete any of them, you’ll be doing his or her family a favor. They deserve to have that legacy preserved.
